So… I quit my job today. For a decade, I have been full on at this place. Moving, shaking, giving it all I had. Investing all of my youth into corporate America. And I have no idea how I feel right now. Some people said I’d go through a depression. Some people said I’d feel the weight of the world lifted off. But I’m not depressed, nor do I feel any lighter. I feel… resigned. I’m sad it had to come to this and I’m sad the value isn’t seen in people any more. I’ve made a number of great, loyal friends here that are my for lifers.
But that was some of the issue. I was married to this company. It was all I knew from high school on. Every friend I had, every story I told led back to here. My life wasn’t being fulfilled in a way it needed to be and I wasn’t making a change in the world. My stamp wasn’t left anywhere. Sure I was at the top of my game and making a lot of money, but what good does that do when you don’t feel fulfilled anymore? Nope. Can’t do it. Then I was told to change who I am. And that my friends was my breaking point. At almost 30 years old, I know who I am, comfortable with who I am, and plan on staying this way. I need an environment where my personality is nurtured and loved because it can do so much for the world. I need somewhere to challenge me and make me feel inadequate so I can be grateful and humble more of the time. I need to walk into a place everyday that makes me the excitable person I am, with a sing songy, sunshiney good morning. And in case you were wondering if those people exist outside of books and movies, they do. I’m one of them.
A few weeks ago when I was talking to someone about needing to feel my purpose again. The response I received was a natural one, yet so absolutely wrong. She said, well you have one. You’re a wife and a mother and this job helps you take care of them. Ahhhh, the good ol’ a woman’s only job in life is to take care of her man and children. I’m so sorry if what I’m about to say is a slap in the face f0r those who do find it their job to only do this. Don’t take offense. I have a biased opinion having worked and taken care of a household all by myself.
I want you women to think about this. If you were never married or had children, what would you have wanted to do with your life? Take it, write it down, and dream a little. Your sole purpose in this world was not to simply raise children or feed your husband. You were given a gift at birth. Only you can feel what it is. Others will see it, mention things, and you will dismiss them, but please don’t. I know everyone reading this may not be Christian, but bare with me on this next one. Even if you’re not, you can agree that everyone has a talent. In the Bible, we call them gifts, and they’re very broad. Romans 12:7-8 “if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” We also know of gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernments, and tongues. Don’t read those last words and scoff and dismiss them at face value. Miracles do happen and there are people that light up a room with them. People read tongues and think of people rolling on a floor somewhere screaming gibberish. An open mind here again. Tongues are actually languages. English, French, Spanish, etc… and there are multi lingual people in this world using that gift for greater fulfillment.
I happen to have the gift of discernment and prophecy (the gift of speaking). I am able to walk in, feel a situation, and speak to it very well. I am able to know a person’s situation and thoughts before hand and help guide them with my words. I may not be able to prophecy myself as well, but I can give some damn good advice. I also have a spirit that is eager to serve. So even though I have children and a husband that need me, it doesn’t mean my only purpose is to serve them and it doesn’t mean yours is either. Maybe your gifts are for your family alone, but you still have a purpose as a woman. That purpose would be the same without your family, but channeled on a different path. So take some tie to reflect and find your gift. Then take some time to reflect on how you can apply it to the world. I promise my friend, you will feel so much lighter after. As for my next chapter, that will start after a week off and relaxing my mind to it’s fullest. Get ready for a jourey because my mind will only have time to think.